This is a painful blog entry for me to write yet I feel there need to vent for the purpose of closure so I can move on without thinking about it so much as it was very creepy.
This also has to be one of the strangest experiences I ever had with a doctor in my life….
I had started to walk and was still going through xanax withdrawal and I kept calling every place I could think of to get off of it. Each one turned me away due to my insurance and they treated me like a drug addict. The Dr prescribed those pills as it is not like I wrote my own script for them. It got so bad that my best friend called the social worker from the hospital who brought me out of my coma. It was a few days later and I struck gold. The Dr who I saw when I woke up was going to help me. I was so grateful I could have kissed the ground he walked on.
He sent a nurse here to help me. She was very rude and kind of insulting. I told her that I appreciated how much he was helping me. She shot back~
he is helping you and I do not know why he is helping you!
You know it is hard enough to swallow your pride and ask for help when you are poor. She made me feel like a piece off trash. She was rude and very condescending when I was nothing but polite. She even ended up calling in the script wrong so I had to go and have a meeting with the Dr himself. I was nervous but the first meeting went well as my best friend was there along with a student Dr so I proceeded to go under treatment.
I went home and googled his career and was very impressed that he had achieved so much. I had a huge amount of respect for him. He was highly educated and even won an award, I was honored that he chose to help someone like me. This is how low my self esteem was at this point.
I had a meeting with him again on Christmas Eve. He walked in and was as visibly nervous as I was. I told him about my life and stuff I had been through up to the coma which was very painful. During this time I had just recovered from a seizure from the withdrawal I had prior to 2 hours before my appointment so I was rambling on and on. He was acting strange and when he handed me the script he said~
Well, somebody has to help you !
He got under the impression I had an affair with the Dr who prescribed it for me on the first place because I said I did not want to get him in trouble.. Once again I was made to feel like some loser……
I would call him once a month to keep him updated on my progress. Every time I called I tried to talk with and him and joke with him just to be nice. I have an interest in astrology so I asked him what his sign was. He said Scorpio. I know quite a lot about Scorpios yet I only knew the good traits. I never focused on the bad which I should have before even trying to be friendly with him. He gave me his email so I could personally email him to send him stuff which people I told at the time said did not seem right. The one disturbing thing is that whenever I called he seemed distracted as his other phone was always ringing and ringing nonstop due to his wife. Here I am asking him questions about the withdrawal and he goes and hangs up to answer his other phone. It hurt when he did that and caused my self esteem to go even lower. It was unprofessional as well.
The other strange thing is that every single time he called me I would get a hang up from the next day from his phone. I never got hang ups before as my number is private and since I live a secular lifestyle so very few people had it. One time I got an incoming call where no one said a word they just listened to me saying hello over and over again. It got creepy. My best friend was even getting hang ups after he talked to him as well. He was very mean to him during the course of my treatment. I know it was his wife…..I painted this after one of the many times he hung up on me. It is called The Whatever
I had finished my xanax withdrawal so I went to another meeting with him so he could see how good I was doing. I dressed nice as I had felt better and I wanted to look better. He saw me and did a double take and lead me into his office. I practically had to jog as he was walking so fast. We sat down in his office and he barely wanted to make eye contact with me and when he did he seemed nervous and very fidgety. I was trying to engage in conversation with him and he came off very rude. I read somewhere that he treated anemia and since I have it I asked him how he would treat it. He stared at my chest for a long time and said~
well your chest is ok.
I did not have a low cut shirt on or anything like that. I felt funny about it. He then went to ramble on even trying to talk politics mentioning Trump which was VERY unprofessional . I grew livid. Money does not equate class in his case. He then dismissed me and I walked away feeling very sad and confused at his bizarre behavior.
I wrote him a long email apologizing which I felt I always had to do when engaging in any sort of communication with him. He then called back and said he wanted to be my friend. You know I was so honored and was so insecure at the time that I fell for it. Everyone told me that was very strange that he said that but I did not listen. He said I could email anytime.. I wrote him emails and gave him ideas on how to raise money for his organization among other things he could do professionally . I told him my deepest secrets ,hopes and dreams because here is is wanting to my friend and seemed very overly fascinated by my life. I really trusted him as most scorpios are very trustworthy. There was no way I would have ever thought he would be such a sociopath. I was also very lonely at the time having lost friends during my xanax years which made me vulnerable to any sort of sociopath. He never even thanked me at all for anything…..
I did not realize he was a Negative Scorpio
I was on a website called Yelp which is a review site. I left his organization a glowing review which was unethical compared to what I went through but yet I wanted to make him happy. I have since deleted it along with that account .It was right after he said he wanted to be friends with me that I started to get messages out of nowhere. I had a man message me telling me that I was really pretty and asked if I was seeing anyone. The profile was fishy and I was kind of creeped out because no one messages anyone on Yelp out of the blue. I blew him off. It was a couple of weeks later I got another one from another guy who wanted a chat buddy. His profile was kind of mocking mine and even reviewed a store on the street I used to live on. It was all so strange . The last one was a young woman with a fake picture that contacted me to chat. Women do not do that. It was all him. My best friend called him out on it in an review and wouldn’t you know it all three profiles have since been deleted. He even had a social worker inappropriately call me after I reviewed a few bars on there telling me that he was worried about me as he thought I was drinking again. He stalked me through there watching my every move….
He would talk down to me like a child on then phone. One time he even accused me of destroying his property over the phone. It puzzled me at the time as I would never do that. He was just gaslighting me. He sounded like he had some sort of breakdown as he made no sense. He sounded like he was crazy or something. I let that slide too. He was not even worth the time of day yet like typical domestic violence victim I made excuse after excuse for his bad behavior.
His favorite comment whenever I told him how his actions made me feel was
I am sorry you feel that way
I never said anything to him about it in email as I did not know want to break it to him what his wife was doing as it was awkward. It was a delicate situation. I wanted to see him in the summer as I felt guilty about not telling him. He scheduled me to come in. It was summer and I had a nice tan , my hair was done and I felt great. I wanted to show him my paintings that I had been working on such as the one below called Abandoned
I had my MacBook with me and was keeping myself busy when he walked in. Once again he was nervous. I was trying to engage in some sort of conversation with him. I had sent him a Coach keychain that arrived the day before and when I asked him about it he smiled and said it was so nice. I felt good that I at least gave him something for the xanax withdrawal as my insurance did not pay for it. I then gave him a dose of reality…Well I broke it to him what his crazy wife was doing and he got very very angry at me. He got up and I felt as though he was going to hit me. It was so uncomfortable but I had to tell him because he works in a field where he has to call caretakers and I am sure she was doing this to them too. Believe me it was the last thing you ever want to tell a megalomaniac like him…
I left after that.
I felt very really sorry for him so I sent him another email apologizing (story of my life) and continued our friendship of sorts. It hit me after a while that he was just putting on an act about caring about his work and all he cared about was money. There were so many bad things about him that I do not want to even bother posting about. He violated my privacy and ran a huge game on me for his ego. I now know everything there is to know about him now down to the fact he shares the same birthday as my sister.
I am far from impressed any longer…….
He betrayed me by showing my personal emails to him to other people which cause me a great amount of legal trouble which is a whole other blog. He also gave out my private number and had people call me using his name acting like police quoting personal emails I had sent him which was beyond odd. You know at the time I thought they were using his name illegally like an idiot!!
Who does these things?
He took part in something disgusting only a lowlife would do. His privacy has been deleted as far as I am concerned. He even went as far as to say he was never my DR which is ridiculous because how would I know him? Why would I have his email and last but not least why is it on record that he prescribed me xanax? He does not know how ignorant he sounds.
He is a narcissistic sociopath who everyone loves and respects as he fools the world with his compassionate act.
He is a sneaky coward who allows his unbalanced wife to run the show and harass people like a lunatic. I do not know how someone like him can sleep at night yet again he is nothing but a charlatan putting on an act for everyone to see.
Narcissists feel no remorse as they are not capable of it.
If he could fool me he could fool anyone. He is nothing short of vainglorious . I lost respect for him left a long time ago.. This whole situation has left me heartbroken. I am sure he tells a different story to anyone who will listen to him as he is a manipulative con artist who is forever playing the victim…. Its not my fault he cheated on his deranged wife and has to always pay for it along with anyone else he calls on his phone. He is far from a man that is for sure….
Narcissists like him are far from even human.
I have stopped mourning the man that I used to love, admire and deeply respect that I thought I knew, not the childish monster he turned out to be…
He is now dead to me….
He can live in his dreamworld all he wants as everyone knows what he really is……
Karma will get him…..