Stop Depressing Me……

My friend and I were talking the other day about how people react when you are in a bad situation. She has late stage breast cancer which breaks my heart. She is the type of person that is always there for everyone. I have known her for nearly 20 years. She says now people barely want to talk to her and very few come to visit. It is almost as if they are scared to catch her cancer. She often sits in pain due to the fact DHS cut her off as they claim her husband makes too much money which is ridiculous. It seems the the new message from Medicare/Medicaid is that you do not count in life. It is not like her doctors care at all. She lives in another state so I cannot go there yet when she calls I take the time out to listen and comfort her like I would any other of my friends even though I am not doing well myself. If your friends cannot emotionally support you in a bad situation they are not friends.

kurt-cobain-quote

You know  they cut off my SSI because of  THIS.

I have to go see one of their doctors now to prove my complex ptsd is not cured. It’s a joke as it has gotten 10x worse. It is getting to the point where everything seems to be falling apart. Between that and a few other things that have gone very wrong I have fallen into a deep depression. It is pretty bad. I have certain friends who call and when they ask me how I am I tell them the truth and sometimes I am met with ~~

Oh you are depressing me stop!

OR

Stop being depressed!

This translates into~~

I am selfish and I do not know what to say so let’s talk about me, me, me!

Depression is not a choice….

This is where I make an excuse that my phone is dying and hang up.

Friendship to me means supporting people through their roughest times as well as the good times. My phone has rang many a time at 3am when one of my friends needed a shoulder to cry on. It’s a shame that so many people take friends for granted and only want to be around for the good times. My friend told me once years ago that when you are friends with someone you love them for their good points as well as their faults. It is unconditional love. I spend my days ignoring my phone now and just writing my book in solitude. It is better than dealing with people who are either just nosy and really could not care less about me…..

alone

 

 

 

 

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